OUR JOY. OUR OWN. OUR KIDS.

I had my first ever TVS the following day, Oct. 15, 2008. Thank God my officemates were very reliable information sources. They briefed me on the procedure that I had to go through on that day.

Feeling a little queasy about what was gonna happened on that very day, I arrived at the UM Multi-test Center 30 minutes before my schedule. The friendly disposition of the attending personnel in that center was enough to ease my discomfort. At exactly 10am, the sonologist arrived and I literally braced myself when the assistant called out my name a few minutes later.

The procedure didn't take long, but for me, it seemed like it was forever. For those who have not been through this sort of procedure, don't worry, it's not what I made it sound to be here. It's just that it was my first time and I didn't like the feel of that hard cold device inside my most private part. Well, who would anyway?!... ;-)

After a few minutes, the assistant handed me the result. I must admit, it was disappointing. I could not remember the sonologist's notes word for word but I guess, in layman's term, she was saying that although the womb was already thickening (meaning, preparing itself to house a possibly fertilized egg), there was no sign of an embryo. The result said to consider a very early stage of pregnancy and it recommended for another TVS in the next two or three weeks. :-(

Half-disillusioned, I walked back to the OBgyn's clinic and handed her the paper with the results. She gave me a brief discussion on the fertilization process. Unfortunately, most of those things were beyond me and the whole time I was sitting in that little room with her, I was thinking, maybe, the baby knew about my uncertainties, anxieties, and predicaments about being pregnant, that was why these things were happening.

The doc advised for me to come back after two weeks and to take the prescriptions she gave me the day before religiously.

Boboy was in Kidapawan at that time. When he called up to check on the result of the test, I was not able to hide the disappointment in my voice. He cheered me up, anyway. He always does when I'm feeling down. I guess that it's really one of the million reasons why I love him. I knew right then that being on that stage was not only my own individual struggle, but it was for both of us. It felt so good to realize that amidst everything that I felt and everything that I would soon go throught, there is this someone who loves me enough to understand and believe in me.

... and the TVS?... it was still two to three weeks away, so why fret?... ;-)