Yesterday, I got the call I've been waiting for ages. After that call however, instead of feeling relieved and victorious, I found myself face to face with reality... the tough job of decisionmaking. At this point in my life, it is not only my own personal choices and feelings that matter. I also have to consider my husband, our baby, our plans for the future, etc. I guess that this is actually one of the most challenging aspects of being married and being a parent-to-be, huh?... Decisionmaking, back when I was single, was also tough, but it is a whole lot tougher at this time.
Last night, I asked God why can't I have everything that I want and need. Why am I faced with this kind of dilemma? Was that call a blessing or a trial?... What is there that God wants me to prove? Couldn't I have just received that call and decide on what I really wanted for a long time?
I must have made God so sad last night with my questions... After awhile, I realized, I am actually just suffering for some things that I have decided on in the past. There's only one person to blame... and that's me. Only myself.
Hay... I'm kinda hungry already... I will finish this blog later. Meantime, let's have lunch.. ;-)
If there's one thing that is good about all these, it is the lessons that I have learned.
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