OUR JOY. OUR OWN. OUR KIDS.

We had our monthly pre-natal check-up yesterday and it was a blast! Our baby's head, spinal column, heart, arms and feet were already visible in the ultrasound TV. Doc Juliet said, she's 85% sure our baby is a girl... but she'll have to confirm that next month. Wow! A baby girl... As I've written here, her name shall be ALEEZA ERELAH... ;-)

Our precious Lee... We can't wait to carry her in our arms...

See you soon, Alee--- our very own baby girl. ;)

Yesterday, I got the call I've been waiting for ages. After that call however, instead of feeling relieved and victorious, I found myself face to face with reality... the tough job of decisionmaking. At this point in my life, it is not only my own personal choices and feelings that matter. I also have to consider my husband, our baby, our plans for the future, etc. I guess that this is actually one of the most challenging aspects of being married and being a parent-to-be, huh?... Decisionmaking, back when I was single, was also tough, but it is a whole lot tougher at this time.

Last night, I asked God why can't I have everything that I want and need. Why am I faced with this kind of dilemma? Was that call a blessing or a trial?... What is there that God wants me to prove? Couldn't I have just received that call and decide on what I really wanted for a long time?

I must have made God so sad last night with my questions... After awhile, I realized, I am actually just suffering for some things that I have decided on in the past. There's only one person to blame... and that's me. Only myself.

Hay... I'm kinda hungry already... I will finish this blog later. Meantime, let's have lunch.. ;-)

If there's one thing that is good about all these, it is the lessons that I have learned.

According to this book I read, on the 17th week, Baby weighs five ounces, is roughly the size of an avocado, and has pink transparent skin. The brain, muscles, nervous and circulatory systems, lungs and urinary tract --- are in full swing. The heart is pumping approximately 25 quarts of blood a day.

And since we are moving on our 18th week, let me just share with you the development on this week. The ears have reached their final position, and the eyes are now looking forward. You will feel swift jerks as your little one becomes more active, turning around and kicking often, especially when voices are heard from outside the womb. The baby's skeleton is still soft and pliable, while the brain is growing fast. Listening to music and storytelling are sure ways to boost fetal brain development at this stage.

I wish I could see all these developments with my two eyes. I can't wait for my next visit to the OBGyn's clinic. As to the swift jerks, I think I felt them already... "I think" because I am not really sure if they are movements or just gas/air inside my tummy. ---I've had "kabag" for the last two days... and, this you should know, I eat more these days... maybe that's the reason why I'm having indigestion... The book says, eat small frequent meals instead of heavy ones to ease somehow prevent indigestion... But oh my, that will really take loads of discipline... Food, right now, is the most tempting thing in the entire universe... --- But I think they are movements, because, after all, I'm familiar with the "indigestion gas feeling"... Those bubbly tingly feelings are different... They seemed to have more substance and force... I really don't know how to describe them in the most comprehensive of ways... ;-)

Jin-jin said my face is a little chubby this morning... haha! I guess eating more than my usual serving for five days really had taken its toll on me huh?... Well, that was good news for me, really. I hope my baby is getting all the nutrients that he/she needs.

Boboy always say I'm too lazy these days. That I should be on my feet more often, instead of just lying on our bed on weekends. Hay... I wish it's that easy to be always on your feet when you feel like dozing off to sleep every hour...

Hmm, what else is worth writing down here... ahmmm.... I think that's all for now.

Oh, I'm starting to read (storytelling) for our baby now. Evenings usually. I read the gospel of the day out loud for him/her to hear. ;)

January 12, 2008. On Thursday, our baby will be exactly four months and 7 days. Finally, my tummy is showing off now... and my boobs! Move over Pamela Anderson! hahaha! Just kidding...they are not exactly like Pam's size...but give me five more months.. haha!


I had a good laugh at Boboy's remark last night. He was so surprised to see my tummy. He was in Kidapawan for the last five days and when he saw me and my bulging belly,he couldn't seem to believe that it was only last Tuesday that we last saw each other. He said it was a whole lot smaller then. I told him it's what he gets for always whining about how long he has to wait for the baby to really grow inside me. ;)


I don't know about other women but for me, being pregnant is wonderful (at least at this time)... Well, it's not everyday that you get to be prioritized in all aspect. I get to sit and sleep on the most comfortable of places. Eat lunch earlier than everyone else in the office. Eat what I crave for... the list could go on forever. ;)


I feel so lucky. With a very loving husband, supportive family, friends, and colleagues, and a mighty GOD... what more could I possibly ask for, but for our baby to look like his/her Daddy, to be healthy, normal, and God-fearing.


If we will have a baby girl, her name shall be ALEEZA ERELAH... these are two Hebrew terms... aleeza means joyful and erelah means angel... my brother BORIS gave me those... I don't know if I really got it right...hehehe... If we will have a boy, I told Boboy about naming him Matthew Tyler... but my sister-in-laws told me it's too common... Chi told me that in Singapore, almost all baby boys are named Matthew... and that was when I had second thoughts about it... I particularly like Matthew for two reasons: First, it means God's Gift... and it just suits our baby perfectly.. He is after all, God's Gift to us... Second, I love the character of Matthew Farrell in Judith McNaught's novel, PARADISE... You guys should read it... It's a wonderful, wonderful novel... ;) With Chi's comment though, I had to reconsider... And so I decided it should be NOAH...


NOAH because my prayer is always, that our baby will grow up pleasing not only to our eyes, and hearts but most importantly, in God's sight. And Noah, in the bible was the only person who pleased GOD during his time. I was reminded of that during our prayer meeting last Thursday. Our discussion was based on the Purpose Driven Life's 9th day lesson. It was all about making GOD smile. The topic touched me a lot and my thoughts drifted from our baby to my prayer and to NOAH.


NOAH. NOAH. What a wonderful name.

But I haven't discussed it with Boboy yet.

I will tonight.

I hope he agrees...

I've always appreciated soothing music... Bossa, RNB, etc... but so far, nothing compares to the sweetest sound of our baby's heartbeat. Hearing it for the very first time almost reduced me to tears... seeing the funny look on Boboy's face made it all the more difficult to hold back the tears.

It took about three weeks before our little one's heart became visible through the ultrasound device. That was also the first time that we both heard the beating of his/her heart. It sounded like the beat of a bass drum, and it was the sweetest music that ever graced my ears in my 28 years of living on this planet. I wanted to hear it again and again and again. What pure joy it was! I wished then that I could hear it every second. I didn't want that moment to end. It was just so amazing... ;-)

The ultrasound was performed by Doc Juliet Coching. An OBGyn-Sonologist whom Ate Nica (my officemate) recommended. She comes in at an earlier hour than the previous OB so the waiting does not take forever even if there are several patients.

I was getting used to the TVS-thing so it didn't post so much as a discomfort anymore. Besides, the result of that scan was so wonderful. I wouldn't mind going through it again and again as long as I get to hear that sweet sound of my baby's heart.

Our baby at that time was smaller than an apple seed. It was so small, it looked like a white dot in the ultrasound screen. The doc said it was the heart. I couldn't wait for it to develop a head, its arms, legs, etc..etc...

Di naman ako masyadong excited noh?... Well, Boboy is another story. He couldn't wait for my tummy to show up. Somehow, the ultrasound wasn't convincing enough for him that indeed, I am impregnated with his child. hahay! ;-)

I had my first ever TVS the following day, Oct. 15, 2008. Thank God my officemates were very reliable information sources. They briefed me on the procedure that I had to go through on that day.

Feeling a little queasy about what was gonna happened on that very day, I arrived at the UM Multi-test Center 30 minutes before my schedule. The friendly disposition of the attending personnel in that center was enough to ease my discomfort. At exactly 10am, the sonologist arrived and I literally braced myself when the assistant called out my name a few minutes later.

The procedure didn't take long, but for me, it seemed like it was forever. For those who have not been through this sort of procedure, don't worry, it's not what I made it sound to be here. It's just that it was my first time and I didn't like the feel of that hard cold device inside my most private part. Well, who would anyway?!... ;-)

After a few minutes, the assistant handed me the result. I must admit, it was disappointing. I could not remember the sonologist's notes word for word but I guess, in layman's term, she was saying that although the womb was already thickening (meaning, preparing itself to house a possibly fertilized egg), there was no sign of an embryo. The result said to consider a very early stage of pregnancy and it recommended for another TVS in the next two or three weeks. :-(

Half-disillusioned, I walked back to the OBgyn's clinic and handed her the paper with the results. She gave me a brief discussion on the fertilization process. Unfortunately, most of those things were beyond me and the whole time I was sitting in that little room with her, I was thinking, maybe, the baby knew about my uncertainties, anxieties, and predicaments about being pregnant, that was why these things were happening.

The doc advised for me to come back after two weeks and to take the prescriptions she gave me the day before religiously.

Boboy was in Kidapawan at that time. When he called up to check on the result of the test, I was not able to hide the disappointment in my voice. He cheered me up, anyway. He always does when I'm feeling down. I guess that it's really one of the million reasons why I love him. I knew right then that being on that stage was not only my own individual struggle, but it was for both of us. It felt so good to realize that amidst everything that I felt and everything that I would soon go throught, there is this someone who loves me enough to understand and believe in me.

... and the TVS?... it was still two to three weeks away, so why fret?... ;-)

October 14, 2008 - A brownish bloodstain got me worried so I told my boss I wanted to see an OBgyn right away. I took most of the day off from work to see Dr. Tauzon. That visit was a test of patience. Several patients were already in the waiting lounge when I arrived at around 11am and the doctor wasn't even in yet. Looking at the pregnant women inside that lounge made me wonder what I'd be like a few months from that moment... It was an intriguing thought which kept me from boredom all throughout the afternoon.

Dr. Tuazon recommended for a Transvaginal Sonogram--some sort of an ultrasound test. Since it was already around 4:30pm, we had to schedule the test the next day. She gave me some presciptions too.