Her Little Hands

Last Friday, Alee and I traveled to Davao City to meet Boboy for our scheduled weekend at Kidapawan. We left Gensan at around 8AM. It had been awhile since we traveled without her Dad. Knowing how active she was, I never really dared to travel with her alone. Last Friday, I prepared myself for the inevitable, but she acted differently. I was surprised that she didn’t make a fuss when we settled on our seat. She comfortably sat down on my lap and silently watched out the window as the bus moved speedily towards our destination. She would constantly point out at cars, cows, and trees that we passed by. I smiled within myself. My daughter has grown indeed.

When we reached Davao, we rested awhile at my in-laws house in Mintal. Nobody was home so we had the place all to ourselves. I observed her with amusement as her eyes wandered around the unfamiliar walls. She stood silently near the sofa her gaze taking in everything. She looked at me. I smiled at her. My own way of silently telling her it was alright. I guess she understood because she smiled back at me. As I went about fixing her Dad’s cluttered room, she playfully went about constantly chattering and pointing at her Dad’s things. At around 2:30 PM, we went to the city to meet Ate Belle at her law office. I was a little bit anxious about riding on a jeepney knowing that she will surely insist on sitting beside me instead of on my lap. I decided that if she ever does, I’d just let her be and pay for her fare. I thought it would be better than to fight her and make a scene in such a public place. But I had my second surprise when as passengers climbed up the PUJ, she obediently sat on my lap as I told her so. She was, maybe, too engrossed with the frenzy of vehicle and human traffic that was happening before her very eyes. She had this firm grip of my arms that were wrapped around her. I guess she was also afraid. It was after all, the very first time I exposed her to such a very public place. Her firm grip gave me a feeling of profound joy deep within. I felt so needed and depended upon. And such was coming from this precious gift I so dearly love.

Yesterday, we traveled back to Gensan. It was already early evening when we arrived at Bulaong terminal. We hired a tricycle. Boboy sat at the front seat while Alee and I rode at the back. She was so sleepy so I had her seated on my lap facing me so that she could lean forward on my chest. I had one arm around her and the other was clutching the front seat for security. As the tricycle noisily zoomed it’s way, she pressed her face closely to my chest and her arms had that familiar firm grip around me. She was probably baffled and scared of the noise and speed. I felt that proverbial sense of profound joy once again. Deep inside, I silently prayed that I will be able to provide all the comfort and strength that she needs so that in the future, those tiny hands will be able to provide the same to someone as dear to her as she is to me.

I love you so much, Aleeza Erelah. 06.06.2011

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