OUR JOY. OUR OWN. OUR KIDS.

dear aleeza,

i have this urge to write you a letter, because of the fact that I have a lengthy talk with a friend last night because of her daughter who is now in High School.

I know that it will be a long time from now and I can just imagine how different that world will be compared with my High School days.

Many people say that you look just like me, I told them, nah, "she looks just like herself", because even if you have the best parts of your parents, you are your own person. You have that kind of smile that makes other people hug you. The little time we spend together made me glimpse of the reason why people say we look the same. You have that spunk in you, and of course the stubborness... hehehe... your rambunctious nature will give your parents gray hair before they reach 40, hahaha... According to some books, the first 5 years will form your personality, I agree, however, there is something in every person that is innate and will be enhanced all through life. I think that's why people have complex personality.

Anyway, the reason I am writing you this letter is because of the fact that you are the only girl in your batch (you, kian and your baby brother). Your Tita Kring once told me that she feels out of place with your Tito Poloy, Kuya Jurris and Kuya Snay, because they have their own world, and she is on the outside looking in.

I also want to tell you about Mama and how we became who we are because of our parents, your grandparents. Can you imagine how they raised us, 8 children with different personalities, likes, dislikes? Even until now I am still baffled how they do it.

Mama was not just our mother, she was our friend, our co-conspirator and confidant. We ran to her when we are in trouble and she was the one who will tell papa minus the horrid details, hehehe...

It is I and your Daddy Allan who always get into trouble, we lost count of the many times we experienced the belt of papa. Those experienced made us who we are now, the only difference is that I got out before I get burn, your Daddy Allan stayed and experienced the heat. The lesson in this is that, do not involve into something that you cannot get out of. Be smart.

The great thing is your Daddy Allan came out ok, and we can see how much he changed.

Your Tita Nini, hmmm how will I describe her? I am praying that you will get her knack for fashion, she looks fashionable even when she is wearing a bedraggled outfit. Mama used to tell me that she knows how to carry a dress. Ngee, carry a dress, I thought you wear them, hahaha, corny!!! Even if she is the eldest, she is the crybaby of the family especially if it involves any of our siblings. There was one time when your Tito J ar was still in Grade 1 and he met an accident (Nabanggaan sya ug tricycle, unya nilusot sya sa ilalom), when your Tita Nini heard about it, she was in Manila at that time, Mama told me that she cried so hard on the phone and to the surprised of everybody she went home. hahaha, the airfare at that time was so expensive (PAL was the lone airline). You will learn that she never gives importance to money, as what she said to Mama, its just money... Hahaha... Mama told me that she almost swoon when she heard it. Hahaha... So she told me to talk to Nini... hahaha...

Your Nanay Jing was very sick when she was a kid that she almost die, she was always in and out of the hospital that we literally make the hospital our home. She even stayed in Davao for years to be near the hospital, but anyway, she is ok now. Jing is the typical motherly type, her cooking is superb just like mamas. She knows household chores and she can clean a room in a matter of minutes that always leave me in awe.My siblings ran to her whenever they are ill, she knows things only mother knows... Maybe because she is the only girl in the family who is married and a mother of two.

I was not around when your Daddy, Tita Chuchi, Daddy Allan, Tita Ia and Tito J ar grew up. I left to study in Cebu when your Daddy was starting high school. I only heard their pranks over the phone, but I became closer to your Tita Chi, Tita Ia and Tito J ar when they went to College. We stayed in an apartment, we never have much, but i let them experience the joy of college life. I was never strict to them, they can do whatever they want so long as they will not neglect their studies.

Your Tita Chuchi is the most generous person I know, her barkada always ate in our apartment that our consumption for a week will be gone in a day or two. It is fine by me, at least I get to meet her friends. She gives and gives to her family and she never put tabs to it. Who would have thought she will turn out to be such, coz when she was small, she was the pinaka maldita among us, she did not talk to nini for months because they quarreled over something.

ngee... why am I rambling about them?! someday, I'm going to tell you why I have to cut short my vacay in Cebu because of your Tito J ar and the time your daddy called me coz he saw your Tita Ia crying.

Anyway, I just want to tell you to enjoy every moment of your life. However, while enjoying life, do not forget that you have an obligation to yourself and that is to study hard. My parents never expected me to be like your Tita Nini, a consistent honor student. Not once did they compare me to her, other people may have, just like our teachers but never did I pressure myself to be who I am not. Be yourself.

While growing up, you get to see so much , the unfairness in life, the cruelty of some, how insensitive others are and the injustice in the system, but you know what, in the midst of everything you get to see the beauty of life in the face of a friend who hold your hand when you feel so alone, in the compassion of strangers and the wisdom of the old.

I want you to experience everything that a person must and should, my point in view in life is so different from your parents, especially your mom's, hahaha... but you should listen to them because they only want what is best for you. When you feel that they do not want to listen to your reasons, you can always count on us, after all we are your second parents. I will make your parents see the light, hehehe...

hey, you are now an ate, do not pressure yourself that you have to be responsible for your brother. That kind of responsibility sucks, you just have to be his friend. Just be yourself and everything will follow, you will only play the big sister stuff when circumstances call for it... I do not want to burden you with the "big sister stuff", you know the usual expectations that you should watch out for your brother, you must do this, give way to your brother because he is younger... Come on, they do not have to remind you that every now and then coz you already know that, it comes with the fact that you are really an ate. Moreover, how can you be that and do all those things if you grow up not who you really are. Responsibility comes in age...

Just enjoy life and do not ever forget to be yourself, while doing so, be kind to everyone especially to those who have less in life. Be humble, everything we have are not ours... and learn to SHARE...

I think, ito muna... When you get a little older we can talk about everything over a bottle of wine... hahaha...

always,

Tita Bim