I can’t wait for this day to be over…Tomorrow, we will be traveling to Davao to visit your dad. It’s a long weekend and I am looking forward to spending it with you and Daddy. Dad hasn’t been home long enough these days and each time he bids goodbye, I always feel a prick in my heart, knowing that it will be awhile soon before we three could be together again. I hope someday you will understand why it has to be this way for the three of us. And I hope and pray much harder that this situation will only be temporary, and that one of these days, we will have dad by our side every day so that not only will we be able to personally share with him our day, but we will also be able to listen and witness his struggles and accomplishments.
We love you so much, Alee. Daddy and I. When you were still in my tummy, we would always imagine how your toothless grin would look like and how your giggle would sound like. We counted the days of your coming out and indeed, when that day came, it was the most wonderful and meaningful days for both of us. Daddy wanted to cry, but as always, he held tears back, for fear of an endless teasing later on. The very first time I laid my eyes on your newborn face, I thank God for you, Lee. You are His most precious gift.
My officemate once ask me what I want you to be when you grow up. I told him, I want you to be an artist. A singer perhaps. A pianist. A photographer. He was surprised about that. He told me, it was the first time for him to hear that from a mother. I told him, I just want you to be what you want to be. Maybe that would sound like the most selfless ambition of a mother for her daughter. But deep inside, I know it is selfish of me to want those things for you. The truth is, I want you to be someone that I wanted to be but never really achieved. I am a frustrated singer, mind you. Then I’ve always wanted to be a photographer. I guess that must be innate to mothers. To want their children to be what they’ve always wanted to be but never got around to being one. Your granny wanted me to join the school band as a majorette because she had always wanted that when she was a child. Like mother, like daughter, so they say.
After awhile, I realized, I want you to be a doctor. I have always admired looking at doctors walking down hospital lobbies in their usual white coat and stethoscope. Same old selfish reason, huh?! But more than that Lee, I wanted you to make a difference. Really make a difference in this chaotic, poverty stricken land we live. I don’t mean that doctors are the only professionals who can make a difference for our nation. No. That’s not my point. I just think that doctors are more connected to people, and they can easily touch lives ----and hearts---- and even souls.
My dream for you was reinforced by my discovery that your guardian angel is the Archangel RAFAEL. The Healer. When I learned that, I realized that in you is the gift of healing. I long for that day you will use that for the glory of God. Not only to heal people physically, but spiritually as well. Such a big dream for a 5-month old baby girl huh?! Well, you know what they say… always start with a dream. And start out with certainty and purpose. Your Dad and I will do everything to provide for you, Lee. We are always praying that you will be what God had in mind when He created you. It will not be an easy journey for us. But if we stick together… You, Daddy, Me…and with our mighty God, I know we will make it.
I’ll see you later today, my sweet little Erelah.
I love you,
Mommy
