Alee turned one year & 7 months last January 8… and with that came several milestones that both make us adore her even more and at times throw us out of our wits.
She now knows how to demonstrate what she wants. For instance, one night when I got home from the office, she was playing ball with Micah. When I entered the living room, she temporarily let go of her ball and ran to me. After I kissed her, she pulled me and let me stand about a meter from Micah, picked up her ball and threw it to me. She wanted the three of us to play ball. I was pretty amazed at what she did… and much more at the power she has over all of us. Even without saying a single comprehensible word, she can already order us around. If she wants to go out, she’d nod at you and wave for you to come over to her. Then, if you do so, she’d take your hand and lead you out the door. If she doesn’t get what she wants, she’d lie down on the floor and start a spell.
That was what happened this morning. At around 5AM earlier, she woke up with an irate mood. She wanted to go out of our room right away. But it was still too early and not to mention she woke me up just when I was dozing off to a deep slumber (I had to wake up at 2AM to see her Dad off for work at Davao City). In short, it was a bad time for her to throw a tantrum. I was definitely on a short string so when she started wailing and flailing both her arms and legs, I carried her out of the room and put her down firmly on the floor just outside of our door. She didn’t want to be put down so she lay down and continued her crying spell. I told myself I was going to be firm about the whole thing and let her cry. I left her sprawled on the floor and went back inside our bedroom. I heard her wailed “Mommy” several times and I realized I couldn’t take it. I hurried back to her; saw her standing, fat tears flowing down her cheeks. She continued crying out “Mommy” and it tore my heart. I knew I couldn’t stand another round of that pitiful cry so I carried her back to the room with me. She was still sobbing when I put her down on the bed. This time, she cried out “Papi”, as if trying to call out for help from her grandpa. Nanay came after a few minutes and took her out. It made her stop crying. As my sleep deprived brain dozed off , I heard Alee’s laughter echoed, but I was too sleepy to give what just happened a second thought.
Now, seven hours after, here I am writing this blog. Trying to figure out how to eradicate this unexplainable prick in my heart each time I remember Alee’s tear filled face looking up at me and calling out “Mommy” in between her sobs. I don’t know if what I did was right and if it had left a lasting impression in her young mind. Was I being a bad parent for doing that to her? I wish I know the answer right now.
May God give me (and Boboy,as well) the wisdom to know the right way to discipline her. And may He give us the courage to carry out just that. * sigh
So help us God.
Boboy & Alee: In an " it's-a-cold-day-out-here" pose infront of the Trappestine Monastery Church in Polomolok after we heard mass on the morning of 01.23.2011.
